Oaf

Judging from the gig I did last night, where I did 3 mins as there were 18 other performers although I was on later in the evening and squeezed another minute in. It seems you need to have an enormous gut, ageing face, bald head, annoying voice and the ability to be a cock to make it in this business.
There was one "comic", although he didn't do that well if I'm gonna be honest, of whom the first thing I heard from him was "if I don't like their face, they don't drink beer or haven't bought me a beer; I won't laugh. And that means something".
No, no it doesn't. You lumbering ogre.
He spent the entire time trying to get people off earlier than they needed just because he couldn't handle jokes with words with syllables over 2. The room was alive with laughter for one performer, and the tit-at-the-back (as he shall know be known) shouted "You're shit!" when he clearly wasn't. The tit-at-the-back was though.

Going on stage fucking this, fucking that (the extent of his sexual history however remains a mystery. I'm not sure any sane man or woman could stand his smell, let alone his company, for more than the 2 minutes. Coincidentally he only did that on stage). I'm no saint, but don't say "cunt" on stage. You cunt. It just belittles the point, if there was one.
Go back to your cave oh tit-at-the-back, rethink the shape you made which you think is a wheel, and start again.
Perhaps Karma will have pity on your useless and overly indulgent existence and not make you do it all over again; for fear of embarrassing not only yourself, but the powers that be.
If man is the breath of God; he had a cold, smoked 40 a day and needed violent CPR when making tit-at-the-back.


Before you wonder; I did longer than him, had more jokes, smelt significantly more like a living creature and had more laughs. The tit.