Cameron Defends Spending Cuts

The Times

" David Cameron gave a speech outside of Downing street today after allegations he was allowing Britain's education system to be funded and partially bought by the conglomerate U.M.A.

'It is true, that at this time, I fully agree with George Osborne in that we do need to make drastic spending cuts to help the economy grow. But we are also inexplicably aware that this country requires an adept and well funded education system which can support our children through these difficult times. So, we may have to look for outside funding to make sure our children have the future that they deserve.'

Mr Cameron would not say where this funding was coming from, but it is known that outside companies are looking into helping with the funding. The Chancellor, George Osborne, is expected to announce another budget tomorrow.
The Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, was also scheduled to make a short speech which was expected to deal with his recent arrest, and to reassure Liberal Democrat voters that he was doing his bit for the country. However Mr Clegg is unattainable after identifying the body of, the now deceased, Menzies Campbell. The Prime Minister said he was 'deeply saddened by the loss of a great man and a great politician' and that 'the state of Britis politics was greatly changed by the work of Menzies Campbell. He will be sorely missed'.

Mr Cameron also spoke of the talks he has been engaged in with Jacob Zuma, the Prime Minister of South Africa.
'The Prime Minister of South Africa has assured me that our boys are safe as they hold up our great name abroad. But for the added security of not only our fans, the players and South African nationals; we will be sending a small number of reserve and active troops in Afghanistan to go and protect them whilst the games are on.'
One of the reserve companies expected to be sent to South Africa is the Alamein Company, of which Prince Harry is a member. He is yet to make a formal statement, but close friends have said he is 'excited to be defending our men when it really matters'. "