You're Nicked, Clegg!

The Independant

" The Liberal Democrats have disputed claims that Nick Clegg is taking supplements containing the DNA of David Cameron after he was randomly stopped and search on the way to Spain with his wife, Miriam González Durántez. But have admitted that he is currently being questioned by police after an incident at Heathrow.
Mr Clegg, the Deputy Prime-Minister alongside Mr Cameron, has been noted in recent months to have become more 'peculiar' looking. Mr Clegg is reported to be sleeping in a separate room after spending 'too many nights out staying at other people's houses', a close family friend has said.
'Miriam is very upset. She knows he has to work on this, it is a difficult time for them all; she just doesn't understand why he needs to stay the night. But she is standing by him until the end, and knows that nothing could be going on.'

Mr Clegg and Cameron we're recently photographed at 5am as Mr Clegg left 10 Downing street with a briefcase apparently filled with 'important documents' which he would apparently work on whilst in on holiday with his family.
Ms Durántez, Mr Clegg and his children met at Heathrow airport where they continued to check in for their 8am flight to Madrid. However, Mr Clegg was pulled to one-side shortly before boarding the planes as officials had looked through his case and found some vials of what appeared to be blood. Mr Clegg was detained whilst his family continued onto Madrid.

Experts have since done tests upon the vials and found that they contain human blood. No-one is sure whether or not they are actually filled with the blood of Mr Cameron, but some back-benchers have mentioned that Mr Cameron has, of late, been looking pale and that Mr Clegg has been picking up certain similarities of Mr Cameron. The most notable being Mr Clegg reminiscing of memories from his time at Eton, when in fact he was a student in Germany.
Mr Clegg is still being questioned, but no statement has been made by the police

This news comes after the recent Budget cuts were announced by George Osborne, where VAT has been raised by 25%. This news caused a minor riot in the Liberal Democrat HQ in Brighton by MPs against the coalition, especially after it was noted that in the first two days into the Lib Dem's campaign they announced that under a Conservative government we would be paying £389 more a year. This was the main spearhead of the Lib Dem campaign, which has obviously since been forgotten.

6 MP's from the Liberal Democrats were arrested, but apparently escaped from the police van after the officers were called to a KFC to try and contain a surge of Badgers.
The 6 MP's are still at large. If anyone has seen;
Danny Alexander, Annette Brooke, Jeremy Browne, Menzies Campbell, Alistair Carmichael and Peter Brand please call the police and lock your windows. They are still at large and are apparently 'Armed and Dangerous'. They were last seen running towards a forest, shortly followed by a small number of badgers. "