British Tea, Life, Towns and Government (Transfer Proposals) Act 2010

" This morning David Cameron, the last Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, announced the British Tea, Life, Towns and Government (Transfer Proposals) Act 2010.
The act is similar in it's effectiveness to the British Coal and British Rail (Transfer Proposals) Act 1993 (c3) which was brought into effect during Baroness Thatcher's reign in the 1980's.
Mr Cameron was joined on stage after the announcement by Margaret, who is reportedly 'disgustingly happy' with the move and believes it will not only 'revolutionise the economy, but also British politics'.

Mr Cameron told the press 'we are now looking for the highest bidder in many sectors of British-life. You can now purchase the chance to be a mayor, policeman, fireman, headteacher. I've already had the Prime ministerial job bought from me by Rupert Murdoch!'.
Mr Murdoch has not issued a statement regarding this, but did release a statement whereby he announced he was the largest stockholder in the already controversial conglomerate U.M.A.


Mr Cameron also released news that the opportunity to rent 10 Downing Street will become available by the end of next week. "

Cameron & Clegg: The end of British Government

" David Cameron and Nick Clegg last night went on television to announce their plans for the future of Britain and its politics.
David Cameron told the audience in the BBC studio about the immediate spending cuts to be put in place in public services such as; Welfare, Health, Education, Defence, Public order and safety, Housing and Transport. And other serious cuts to be put in place in; recreation, culture, religion, agriculture, and industry. The news of the dire cuts ahead in wages for a number of civil servants has called for a possible strike.

The expected cut in each individual budget is for casted to be near 95% of each budget. These cuts, alongside the cuts in Liberal Democrat expenses is expect to raise each Conservative expenses amount drastically.


Mr Clegg, the only Liberal Democrat left in the cabinet is reported to be 'deeply upset' with the move. The Lib Dem leader was moved to tears at the end of the show and shouted 'I just wanted to make the country good again'.
Mr Cameron, however, left the studio promptly so as to keep with a dinner arrangement with Baroness Thatcher who has recently been released from hospital after blood tests showed she could be suffering from cancer, when in fact it has been discovered that she is entirely made from cancerous cells."

MPenalised

The Daily Mail

" David Cameron yesterday held a press conference where he made it known that further job cuts would be happening within the next week to month.
The Prime Minister told reporters outside of 10 Downing Street that many of these jobs would be happening inside the House of Commons, effectively firing a vast majority of the elected MP's because their wages and allowances are deemed 'too expensive'.

Mr Cameron made firstly made it clear that the entire cabinet was behind the move, after 'long and tiring talks' the MP's came to a deal whereby they would leave their positions of power with the entitlement of a large sum of money, estimated at somewhere between £1m and £5m, and a yearly income of £50,000 paid in good will.
The MP's will also be eligible for job seekers allowance."