Serious re-evaluation

For a large majority of my life I have been a devout athiest. I was happy with that. Darwin-ism had treated me well. The idea of a life with no-one but fellow humans excited me; all this diversity, all this human experience to share.
However, I'm feeling the urge to become a deep agnostic; just so that I can blame someone, so that someone or something is acountable for the film Eraserhead.
David "Mentally handicapped" Lynch is heralded as being an artist for his work with film. But after seeing Inland Empire (albeit only the first half, because the film actually gave me diarrhoea) and now Eraserhead I am left with the feeling that there must, has to, be someone I can blame for this. I admit I could blame Lynch, but that's too easy. I hope it isn't his fault he's like this, because that's just unfair.

The films of his I've seen have been as if someone has grabbed a multitude of sub-par scripts, printed them on harded camel dung, fed them through a shredder, glued the bits back-together and then tried to make films out of them. With these resulting film reels being caught in huge fires, where the firemen (in an attempt to be truly rid of the films) use acid to extinguish the flames. Lynch has then snuck into the crime scene late at night and used his radioactive semanl fluid to re-attach the film into a huge collage.

I don't know why there was a women in his radiator. I don't know why his baby looked like the Elephant Man's penis (The Elephant man being a pretty decent film because, well, it's real). And I don't know how I'm meant to feel about it all.

As Marvin the Paranoid Android (Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy) says;
"Life's bad enough as it is without inventing any more of it".

This is challenged everything I trusted in the universe. That, eventually, it'd all make sense one day. It'd all be maybe not grand, but survivable.
No, apparently not.
There's not even a perticular emotion I'm feeling. It's just "Void".